Tender Nothing
By George Berger
Yet as I spied from an intermediate distance on him as his large and long hands trembled with nigh-palpable nervousness or anxiety or delerium tremens and he furtively effected the clandestine alchemical transformation of personal electronics into what was most likely once again equine deworming powder, I could not entirely successfully suppress the queerly petulant, frustratingly selfish feeling—in any other lesser woman it might have risen unchecked to the level of a personal opinion, but I had long ago trained myself rather better, of course—that while so very, and admirably, typical of your father, bless his firm and unyielding heart, this clandestine early-morning undertaking seemed a slightly excessively drastic ploy to deprive me of my dear and beloved Farmville.
Anyway, sweet child, be a dear and run down to the pawn shop for another phone while your father takes his nap this afternoon. And get another charger while you're there, if you'd be so kind; a goat ate the last one, the little monster. While you're gone I'll make those cookies you like, and maybe a pitcher of lemonade, if the ants haven't gotten into the sugar and your father hasn't drunk all the whiskey. Oh, and have your car washed, won't you, dear? All that mud looks absolutely vile. We do have standards to uphold, after all.
Welcome George! Thank you for participating in Flash Fiction Friday. This is an exceptionally descriptive piece of writing. I enjoyed the hint of humour hidden within the structure. I suspect this woman would be a force to be reckoned with, but a loyal friend to the end.
Tell us three things about yourself George.
1. I write because I can't help it.
2. If I was a character in a book I would be utterly excised in edits.
3. My super human power would be the ability to ignore that super human should be one word. :)
To connect with George and learn more ...
George Berger, author of Angles and Curves from Queerteen Press, blathering inanely on Twitter as @mendacities
We encourage readers to comment on this Flash Fiction Friday piece. What are your thoughts?
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Oh, that's funny! Can't forget those standards. :)
ReplyDeleteYes! The wife's voice really shines through in this exert.
DeleteWonderful story. You publish many good stories, but this, by far, is my favorite. He delights all the senses with his descriptive acumen...And it is f-u-n-n-y! I shall definitely be looking for more by Mr. Berger!
ReplyDeleteThe description is very well done. Yes, it made me chuckle as well.
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